A Story of How One of the Worst Days in My Life Became One of the Best

This is the story of my left foot Achilles heel. Don’t try this at home.

It was October. The weather was cold and I spent more and more time in the gym. I took a personal trainer so I could finally do my workouts correctly as my lower back was hurting for many years before. I went to the gym three times a week and played tennis two times a week. It wasn’t an obligation to me. Oh my god how much I enjoyed my workouts. I took every chance to go to the gym. My child was 1.5 years old at that time and I finally saw that my body was healed from pregnancy and breastfeeding. Let’s face it — those things can be natural but they are also so tiring for your body.

22nd of October was a pretty regular day, stayed home with my 1.5-year-old, saw a black spider in the kitchen and in the evening ran to my tennis practice. I had a really good practice, I was so happy that after getting a child I could play again normally and I felt that I have developed a lot recently. Those were actually my thoughts when I was playing.

On the 75th minute, I was waiting for the ball on the tennis court.

Ready to hit it hard.

I saw that my opponent served and I had to move right so I could take it with a front hand.

When I started to run I heard a really really loud bang.

I thought that I hit my leg with a racket. But then I fell because it was too painful to lean on my foot. The pain wasn’t too bad. My coach got me some ice and that eased the pain a little bit but it was going worse.

My first thought was — when I can get back on the court? I am in such a good place right now with my training routines, I need to get back. My coach was saying that many have had injuries and they will get back, don’t worry but just in case go for a check-up in ER (probably he knew what happened, this is a pretty regular injury in the tennis world).

The rest is history, I went (actually jumped on one foot) to the ER, where I heard only two words — Achilles, surgery.

Firstly — I didn’t even know that humans have a body part called Achilles heel. I thought it was only something in Greece mythology.

Secondly — I haven’t ever been into surgery before so it sounded really really scary.

I got to the surgery 9 days later! I had to just wait on my couch for 9 days, doing nothing, thinking about the surgery. I thought that when it is done it will get better soon. Oh, I was so wrong. I couldn’t bear any weight on my foot for several weeks. When I finally could put weight on my foot then I didn’t want to. It seemed for me the hardest thing I have to do. But I understood that the fear was all in my head and somehow I started to do it again.

Fast forward till today when a year has passed from my accident. I still walk with a limp and my left foot is significantly smaller because I don’t have muscles there. I don’t know if I will ever play tennis again. Not because of my foot but because of my brain. This loud bang where you don’t know what the f happened is still there.

But I think overall this accident gave me new perspectives which I can appreciate a lot.

Before I had the classic though — “these things never happen with me”. I have been a healthy person my whole life. Not living healthy but just I haven’t been sick and had major incidents. First time I was at a hospital was when I was 30 years old and I gave birth to my son. Now I know that everything can change so fast that you don’t even imagine. Thanks to that I try to appreciate more every moment I have when everything is normal. That means that I won’t be happy only when something good will happen. Great days are also when NOTHING happens.

Also, I am grateful for the ability to move. When I had my crutches I was so terrified I would fall and break my healthy foot also (this fear I got from a guy who experienced such a “fun” thing). Going to places gave me very big anxiety because I didn’t know how many steps there are, can I park close to the entrance, how much I have to “walk”, etc. I never thought about those things before and I saw that people with moving legs also didn’t think about it very much, because usually, they didn’t know the answer about the stair amount when I asked. I was actually surprised how few places were easily accessible to people with disabilities. I have never noticed that before. Now I try to notice more people who could need help and offer them that. Also, I would never take my two moving legs as granted. I am grateful every day about them. This reminds me when I didn’t have a possibility to go anywhere alone and I said to my husband that I would do anything to be able to just go out of the house alone. Seems such a simple wish…

I didn’t have a near-death experience or anything like that but still, I discovered that we have a certain amount of time on this world and we tend to waste it. I can’t say that all my activities are now only very meaningful but at least I try to think about it and monitor when I am doing something pointless (f.e scrolling social media). Small steps make the change.

Accidents like those give time to think about what kind of life you want to live so it would be happy. I have been told that this happened to me because I didn’t take time for myself and decided where I want to go. In hindsight, I also think this was the case. It is possible to take this time for yourself without being forced to do it but usually, we are not stepping out of the hamster wheel unless we are forced to. I have decided that the 22nd of October isn’t the bad day anymore when something terrible happened to me, but the day that changed everything in the right direction.